For a Beginner

This post was initially going to be about my wetsuit trying on madness, though that will be delivered to you at another date.

Instead, I have something more sombre to write about.

Last weekend, during Body Jam, my shoes felt a bit strange - like there was something else inside them. During the Jam class, I kept on taking off my shoe and looking inside it; it felt like the cushioning had slid out of place or something like that.

I didn't think much of it.

Then on Monday, during Body Pump, I felt the same strangeness in a completely different pair of shoes. From that, I could tell it wasn't the shoes that were the problem, but it was my foot. Since it wasn't hurting, I figured that maybe I'd slept on it a bit strange and it just needed some movement to straighten it out. For the next few days, I felt the odd-ness from time to time, but it didn't hinder anything. I did Body Pump, Body Balance, Body Step, Body Jam, a session with Adam, two weights sessions, and RPM Enduro without it being much of an issue.

Though on Thursday morning, I got up to try out Step/Pump - the hybrid Step Aerobics and High-Rep-Low-Weight programme. When I started off the Step tracks, it felt very uncomfortable. Five minutes later, I had searing pain through the front of my foot. It was the first time that it had hurt.

Throughout the day, it got worse - it felt like the outside of my left foot was curling under itself. My toes were digging into each other as well and something did not feel right at all.

I emailed my Body Balance instructor asking who I should see about it, and she gave me the name of a physio who could help me out. I left a message and he called me back, saying that I should go and see a doctor first so that I could get his physio sessions free through ACC. Very thorough of him, I must say.

So I made an appointment and went to see the doctor.

I hate doctors. Every flu and fever and whatnot that I've had recently, I've avoided going to the doctor. Today, I remembered why.

When I was called in the doctor sat down at his desk. I sat down in the chair opposite him. There was some awkward silence. Since he didn't say so much as a 'Hello, how are you?' or, 'So, what can I do for you?' or, 'So, what seems to be the problem?', I uncomfortable started talking to him about the foot.

About how in recent days, it's felt uncomfortable, but not sore until very recently. I described to him how the foot felt, how it seemed to curl under itself and the swelling I had spotted in the evening. You couldn't even see the heel bone on the left foot, since the tissue had swollen up so much.

He looked at me for a few moments after I had finished talking. After more silence, I asked him if it could be broken - a hairline fracture or something similar - or whether it could be sprained.

Silence again. Then he said, "It's because you put too much pressure on it."

That confused me. I said, "Uh... but if there's any leg I favour leaning on, it's my right, because it's weaker." I babbled on a bit longer about how in lunge tracks in Body Pump, I fatigue the right leg first because of the difference in strength. I know that I'm left-footed, like I'm left-handed, so I make a conscious effort to use the right leg more so that its strength can be built up a bit more.

He seemed to ignore this. He said, "It's because of the weight of your body that the pressure is being put on it. You need to exercise and eat less and then it won't hurt."

At this point, I didn't realise the enormity of what he was saying. I was puzzled, on a scientific level. I said, "But... that doesn't make any sense? I already exercise frequently and eat well..." I didn't understand what exercise and eating had to do with a swollen foot. I was scratching my head, trying to understand why he would suggest that to me as a remedy.

He got up, opened the door to usher me out and said, "Once you've lost 20 kilos, it should be fine."

I was still sitting down at this point and at that moment, it hit me as to what he was saying.

He was saying that the pain in my foot was because I was too fat.

My jaw dropped. While I was speechless, he said, "Just start exercising. Begin with 15 minute walk every evening after dinner, then increase to 20, 30 minutes once you get fitter. 3 times a week should be fine for a beginner."

Did he just say what I think he said? Did he just call me a BEGINNER?

OH HELL NO.

I was less upset by the fact that he had told me to lose weight than I was from him assuming that I was a beginner to exercise. Fuelled by anger, I told him that I do a large quantity of exercise every day - at least an hour, up to three hours, of HIGH IMPACT cardio and weights. I told him about 5k race, about the ocean swims I'd entered, and he just shook his head and waved me off. He said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but if you really did that much exercise? You would look very different now."

It was like being trout slapped.

I snatched up my bag and stormed out of there. Stormed out past the reception where the receptionist yelled at me as I went through the doors outside. Presumably she was expecting me to pay for the doctor's consultation. FUCK THAT.

I spoke to someone I know for a recommendation for someone not so 'prejudicial'. She recommended someone more expensive, less available, and much further away from my home than this doctor.

But fuck me, I deserve to be treated better than that, and if it means boycotting him and driving halfway across Auckland to see someone who treats my injuries and doesn't think I'm a liar? So be it.

And don't you worry. I'm drafting my letter to the Commerce Commission AND Human Rights Commission as we speak.